Unexpected Change

It seems we all go through times of change in our lives, and occasionally it feels as though we are watching ourselves from the outside shape into a person. It's like I can feel myself growing into myself, into who I'm really supposed to be and the person on the outside is who I currently am. It's like a file on a computer, I would be the file labeled as pending, or in progress. As days progress, I try to hold onto everything, capture every memory, and feel the sunshine against my face. But I find myself in another place, getting so lost in the ability to take everything in that I lose the moment as a whole. Then there is these pockets of time I remember so distinctively, every tiny detail, and their the moments I wasn't even paying attention to at the time. Moments where someone pushed me out of my comfort zone to complete. Like this one time at night before my boyfriend was heading off to a different state, we climbed over a fence, and found ourselves in the middle of an empty soccer field under a blanket of stars, gripping each others hand, but breathing out laughter into the empty sky. Or this other time I found myself on the balcony of a back porch smoking my first cigar, that was grape. I don't even like grape flavored things, I hate them. But why do I remember the moments that I don't even mean to capture.  Well, I sat down to read a book tonight, a book I've been long anticipating to get into my hands. A story of someone's story, that all started with her wanting to write her own story because she read an inspiring one herself. It was all about finding beauty in the unexpected. I cozied up into the bathtub with candles, hot tea, and some good music. I automatically felt content, but as I read about how one's life can change in a matter of seconds, I realized people change in a matter of time because of those unexpected circumstances that occur. A concept, I've hated to grasp. That the people in my life who mean so much to me, who I've known one way for so long can all the sudden become something else, someone else. Hopefully, always for the better whether I am able to see that or not. But regardless, were in all the process of change. I suppose continuously. As we grow, we are exposed more and more to the world around us every day. To the heat against our face as sweat drips into our eyes and down the back of our necks, to the simple friendly encounters we have with strangers, or the the familiar smells we find that quickly take us right back. We become vulnerable, and I think thats when we truly are able to capture those moments of time. When were in a state with no walls and we feel it all, no restraints, no constrictions. We feel every bit of the moment, and we become more and more ourselves. Each of those vulnerable moments is shaping us into who were supposed to be. I guess, the unexpected is where true beauty lies.